Music ! ♥

My feelings....

Assalamualaikum Blog....
I really need to say my feelings here. The words are just what I feel now. I really feel useless. I'm a bad daughter, girlfriend, family member and a friend. Firstly, i don't think such a nice mum like my mum deserves me. I'm so naughty and love to fight back. As for a girlfriend, I only know how to make him angry and many more negative stuff. He really does deserve better. He keep saying don't regret if I can't meet him. At times, I just feel its a good thing cause he can just find a better girl rather than me. Ok I'm tearing now. *holding back my tears*
I really just want to run as far as possible. I'm just making people hate me I think. I feel everyone around me is faking to be nice. It's like everyone is just wearing a mask with I'm ok with you, you know face. I don't know maybe it's just what I feel. I even think my own boyfriend finds me irritating already. Seriously I don't know. I really just want to disappear. But everywhere I go, I'll surely meet people :(

I feel that I'm just not for anyone. Maybe I just deserve to be alone where I would not hurt people, make people angry. Even if I'm not here, I don't think it'll make a difference. I'm just like a furniture where no one notices me also. I just want my mum to be happy, my boyfriend to live his old life with whichever friend he wants to hang out with. As for my family members and friends, I just want them to forget about me cause I'm not worth remembered. Maybe that has already happen because I do not have anyone who would contact me just to say hi how are you? anymore. Anyway, I don't have a good attitude or anything nice about me.

Sometimes, when I think back, why is it not me who goes first but my love ones who goes first whereby they really give a great impact to many people. All I can say is, I really feel all this. That's all. I hope no one reads this and it's just between me and you blog.

-Wasalam-

Music changes everything<'3
Rock rock rock :D

Abang ku yang tersayang.........

Assalamualaikum Blog......

Ni adalah Abang Faris... Kini, dia telah kembali ke bai'tullah..

Memang sejujurnya Nissa amat sedih :'(

Tapi lagi sedih bila orang-orang yang menyayanginya menceritakan semua kenangan mereka bersama dan betapa kenangan itu tidak akan pernah dilupakan.

Di sini, Nissa ingin mengatakan kenangan Nissa bersama Abang...

Abang yang telah Nissa anggap seperti Abang kandung sendiri...

Abang yang tak pernah lupa akan adik angkat nya ini.

Dulu, dialah yang akan beri nasihat. Dialah yang ada di sisi Nissa saat senang dan susah.

Nissa amat rindu kan dia sekarang dan Nissa menyesal kerana tak menghargainya.

Nissa ada kata Nissa nak kasih dia hadiah pada hari jadinya tapi belum kesampaian pun.

Hari raya tahun lepas adalah saat terakhir Nissa jumpa dia dan gambar inilah gambar terakhir kita ambil bersama. Dulu, kita akan berbual berjam-jam di telefon saat Nissa masih tinggal di Singapore. Takkan Nissa lupa semua itu.

Kalau boleh, Nissa ingin katakan ini kepadanya, "Abang, Nissa ingin abang tahu yang adik sayang abang seperti abang kandung. Tidak pernah akan hilang kasih sayang itu. Semoga abang aman dan tenteram di alam bazar. Mudah-mudahan dosa abang semua diampuni dan pintu syurga luas terbuka untuk mu wahai abang. Sampai kita bertemu lagi di hari kiamat, isya'allah"

Saat Nissa nampak jenazah abang, Nissa bersyukur kerana muka abang berseri dan Haziq bilang muka abang ada tersenyum sikit. Alhamdulilah kerana itu adalah tanda bahawa abang mati dalam keimanan.

Walau apapun, Nissa amat bersyukur dapat kenal abang dalam hidup Nissa. Tapi semuanya ditentu oleh yang maha esa, Allah s.w.t kan. Kita tidak boleh mengubah nya. Saat Nissa sendiri, saat itu lah Nissa akan menangis. Memang Nissa tak setabah mana pun. Suara abang yang merdu akan selalu dibayangkan. Ya'allah, jaga lah abang faris di manapun dia berada dan ampunilah segala dosanya. Biarlah orang yang menyayanginya kuat dan tabah menghadapi kehilangan nya dan takkan pernah lupakan nya. Amin ya rabba na ala min.

Music changes everything<'3
Rock rock rock :D

Ikan gelama batu ~ Interesting :)

Today, in the bus, Mama told me that Cik Zul got ikan gelama batu yesterday since he went fishing. So,I was like what fish is that? She describes to me the fish. And....The interesting thing is that the skull of ikan gelama spesies Johnius carutta (gelama batu) contains a few stones.(Truthfully, those stones are called otolith bones). Other than that, Mama and I started singing a song by Anita Serawak and hmmm. I forget who.. The song goes like this: Ikan kekek mak iloi iloi... Ikan gelama mak ilai ilai... Then forgot lyrics.. Hahahhaaahaha.. But today also, a stray dog was soooo near to me. I was like frightened since I was scared that the dog would follow me into school. Alhamdulilah :) it did not. I just shivered while otw to school. Hhahaha.. Lucky me ;) Psss... Later eating pizza with class..hahahahahaha.. *gonna love today* STARTING OF HOLIDAY TOMORROW ! ~ ;)

Music changes everything<'3
Rock rock rock :D

Im useless.....

      

Music changes everything<'3
Rock rock rock :D

Assalamualaikum Blog :)

Dah lama Nissa tak post dekat sini. Maafkan Nissa kerana tidak dapat post pasal Nissa tidak ada masa luang, kalau ada pun, Nissa penat. Sekarang hidup Nissa boleh tahan tapi boyfriend Nissa tengah busy :(
But what can I do gitu kan? Takpelah.. Cuba memahami. Dia mesti dalam keadaan tertekan sekarang ini.
Pasal Mama, Nissa hanya boleh kata Nissa rindu kan nya tetapi tidak tahu macam mana nak menunjuk kepadanya.
Sekolah pun akan habis dan exam pun akan tiba. Isya'allah, Nissa akan buat yang terbaik dengan izin Allah s.w.t dan Nissa ingin berjuang untuk grades Nissa yang terbaik. Itu sahaja.

Sekian-
-wasalam- <3

Music changes everything<'3
Rock rock rock :D

Deep down..

Assalamualaikum Blog :)

I guess now I am so paranoid. I ain't in a good mood. Maybe due to the girl's thing is one factor I guess. But deep down, I just feel like crying. Crying for what I am now and also my behaviour. Sometimes I just wish to be the perfect girl and also a soleha one. But the fact is I'm not. I have imperfections and I am also not a religious person. I know that everyone has imperfections and that is what that makes us different. I am bersyukur yes. It's just the part on being a soleha person. I am truly sad to see myself like this. I think I just pentingkan nafsu dan ke-egoan diri. I never try to take a step back to think before doing things. Plus yes, I can't make decisions and I kept pushing things to my boyfriend. I am sorry. I guess I just do not want to care for most of the things around me. If can, I do not wish to know about bills and many more. I would certainly want someone to make all the decisions and think for me if can actually. But the world is whereby we ourselves must be independant. I just feel like giving up in life. Truthfully saying... Now I'll just cry deep down and may god be the only one who knows this. Also, I would want my mum to be happy for the rest of her life. I am sad to see her condition. But what can I do? Why am I so useless :( :( :( :( Sorry Mama :( :(

thats all then..
I just want to be alone..
-wasalam-

Music changes everything<'3
Rock rock rock :D

Assalamualaikum Blog :)

I've decided to make you private now..
You will be my luahan hati yang ke-dua kerana Allah yang akan menjadi yang pertama..
Memang semua salah Nissa kerana Nissa tak dapat menunaikan janji Nissa. Malahan, Nissa mungkir janji Nissa. Betul kata Mama kan. Jangan berjanji kerana nanti kita yang susah dan makan diri sendiri.

I just watch this video. It's a part dalam cerita Cut Amirah and I won't want it to happen between me and my boyfriend bila kita tunang one day isya'allah..

Music changes everything<'3
Rock rock rock :D