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.Wednesday, January 4, 2012 ' 3:59 AM Y

Deep down..

Assalamualaikum Blog :)

I guess now I am so paranoid. I ain't in a good mood. Maybe due to the girl's thing is one factor I guess. But deep down, I just feel like crying. Crying for what I am now and also my behaviour. Sometimes I just wish to be the perfect girl and also a soleha one. But the fact is I'm not. I have imperfections and I am also not a religious person. I know that everyone has imperfections and that is what that makes us different. I am bersyukur yes. It's just the part on being a soleha person. I am truly sad to see myself like this. I think I just pentingkan nafsu dan ke-egoan diri. I never try to take a step back to think before doing things. Plus yes, I can't make decisions and I kept pushing things to my boyfriend. I am sorry. I guess I just do not want to care for most of the things around me. If can, I do not wish to know about bills and many more. I would certainly want someone to make all the decisions and think for me if can actually. But the world is whereby we ourselves must be independant. I just feel like giving up in life. Truthfully saying... Now I'll just cry deep down and may god be the only one who knows this. Also, I would want my mum to be happy for the rest of her life. I am sad to see her condition. But what can I do? Why am I so useless :( :( :( :( Sorry Mama :( :(

thats all then..
I just want to be alone..
-wasalam-

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