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.Friday, June 28, 2013 ' 6:09 AM Y

My feelings....

Assalamualaikum Blog....
I really need to say my feelings here. The words are just what I feel now. I really feel useless. I'm a bad daughter, girlfriend, family member and a friend. Firstly, i don't think such a nice mum like my mum deserves me. I'm so naughty and love to fight back. As for a girlfriend, I only know how to make him angry and many more negative stuff. He really does deserve better. He keep saying don't regret if I can't meet him. At times, I just feel its a good thing cause he can just find a better girl rather than me. Ok I'm tearing now. *holding back my tears*
I really just want to run as far as possible. I'm just making people hate me I think. I feel everyone around me is faking to be nice. It's like everyone is just wearing a mask with I'm ok with you, you know face. I don't know maybe it's just what I feel. I even think my own boyfriend finds me irritating already. Seriously I don't know. I really just want to disappear. But everywhere I go, I'll surely meet people :(

I feel that I'm just not for anyone. Maybe I just deserve to be alone where I would not hurt people, make people angry. Even if I'm not here, I don't think it'll make a difference. I'm just like a furniture where no one notices me also. I just want my mum to be happy, my boyfriend to live his old life with whichever friend he wants to hang out with. As for my family members and friends, I just want them to forget about me cause I'm not worth remembered. Maybe that has already happen because I do not have anyone who would contact me just to say hi how are you? anymore. Anyway, I don't have a good attitude or anything nice about me.

Sometimes, when I think back, why is it not me who goes first but my love ones who goes first whereby they really give a great impact to many people. All I can say is, I really feel all this. That's all. I hope no one reads this and it's just between me and you blog.

-Wasalam-

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